For You

The moon’s final light runs scared from me as I wake,
The floor glistens in the morning sun.
They say it’s shock but I don’t feel a thing, someone had to break
Him down.
I look to you for answers as you shut the door,
To see him, treating you like meat
To see you so frightened,
With my soul dead, pure anger forced my heart to beat
Like a thundering drum.
My body tightened,
I wish I could say I blacked out;
That it wasn’t me,
But you hate it when I lie.

when the rain comes

When the rain comes they will flee to the sanctity of their covered homes.

Charcoal Hearted

I will never follow a heart so black as yours again. Like charcoal from the hearth.
I endured here so strong, so tough and for what? To be struck down by those for whom I care?
I trust in my heart to show me the way, make sense of those realities that vex me so. It leads me astray; down roads I cannot take, not any more. It has ruined me.
Like a once strong, flourishing oak, stricken down by the words of those who claim to protect. Processed by strangers and spit back out deemed “unfit”.
And then hope, like a tree stripped of leaves in the dead of winter I was bare. You came so peacefully, like spring, and offered me your sincerity. Took me home, again came the lies of love.
I sat forsaken awaiting what came next, a bundle of wood already stacked, missing only a match to burn me out of existence; and down you came, I burned almost too quickly, my agony fuelled the inferno.
From the beginning you planned my demise. From within your charcoal hearted body came my death.

Hear me

Hear me now, I’m sick of it, the lies and false hope. There is no end to this. There is no answer, none that I can see. So I suggest you stop looking and live.

Currents

Let it cleanse me.
Washing over me slower each time the water ebbs around me.
Currents rush forcefully underneath this mirrored surface.
As they flow around me,
through me,
I wonder what right I have to stay.
As it pushes persistently against me I wonder.

The Fool I am

Why do I so insist on making fool out of myself? Trying harder and harder each time. I say you’re not worth it. I’ll never understand what it is about you that attracts me so, I want you to care but again and again you prove ever so greatly how little you do. Is it your eyes, your nose, lips face hair or curves that mesmerize me so.
You make me feel so dumb, I don’t get why. I know the facts and I know what is. Yet every time I see you my words escape me and I hope just maybe this time you’ll stop.
But no you walk on past as I stand in place, you’ll never see me. No matter how great a fool I make of myself.

breakdown

It’s a breakdown of my poor body under this crushing soul. I can’t take this anymore. You lend your fake sincerity only so when I fall down and die you won’t feel so guilty. Keep your act to yourself and when they all say what a tragedy, lie. Lie to them and say how much you cared, how you tried to help me. Explain how I was too far-gone to be helped.

spining

You spin round and round,
to the tune of my sweet sound.
these words I whisper into the night,
tell our story so well,
They wrap around you until the morning,
You on the wisps of my whims.
The song rings out across the sky,
and there you go,

white lies

Why does it have to end?
Nothing is ever real, so what’s the good in letting me know?
Can’t we just sit back and pretend?
No, I see now you want to see me fall and end this show.
You want me to feel the pain,
Should I crumble now or wait till you’re safely far away?
Every thing you said was in vain.
You say you went astray,
Well it’s to late for shallow apologies.
Everything we said, all those tries
Your face lets me know the pain I caused with these,
These white lies.

Haunting

Why do you haunt me so? Crashing through these walls I’m going, going, gone, and now where am I? Lost I tell you, gone and lost. Forever and a day staying here far from you I don’t care what you say, you’ve changed this you didn’t mean that well, I’m done so fuck you. Fuck not because I’m angry and not because I’m flustered and out of words if you prefer something more civil, then fine, remove your presence from me, escort your pompous, painfuly problematic being from me. I am as placid as you are presumptuous. You pretend to play and pout, presumably its your self-protective ego that grates my mind so, no it’s your whole being that gets me. That’s why I say fuck you. I am sick of explaining myself to such an unintelligent, ignorantly dense, foolish, empty shell of a person. Why put effort into insulting a pretender so vacuous as you? Simply save me the touble of running and leave me alone.

my view

That strong sun shines so brightly throughout the day, but I rarely see it. You say I’m not looking but where else is there to look? You see one golden sun and I see two gray moons. You say the roses are so red, but I see shades of pink. The view takes your breath away, but mine stops me in my tracks. You say look up at the stars but I can’t break my gaze from you.

Beneath that sky

Whispering my secrets to you, I let my heart pour out until I was no more.

beneath that gray winter sky, beneath the trees, freezing out the pain I let it pour. Foolishly trusting where I knew I should not stand,

A stepping-stone on your path, nothing more. You were through, done and gone. How could I be so ignorant, and naïve?

Beyond this transparent veil stands a shell, within that shell there is nothing. Its contents still beneath that gray winter sky, beneath the trees where you left them.

Walls

All these walls that we build, for what and for who? What scares us so badly that we should build them so high? I’d like to see this frightening world around me; I don’t recall what made me this way. Was I always so scared? Well I’m done now. What good is fearing the unknown? We can never cure this fear, unless we fight into the darkness, tear down these towering walls and face the piercing cries we hear. I will escape, follow if you wish but know that my course will stay true. I will fight and I die, but I will know my killer. Waiting, so protected, slowly dying in this trap won’t suffice any longer. My walls are down, I am all I see, my fear over whelming, but courage in my hand I will prevail, I’d rather die in the light then live inside those walls.

my path

My yearning is to help you, but I see now what went wrong. Did I ever stop to ask if you even wanted my help? No, failing to show the simplest of courtesies. I tried so hard to help without ever once questioning my actions. Should have know better by now, what is worse than a friend too arrogant to realize when his help is not wanted. Now, I stand-alone. My help was sincere, but for the worst reason. Wanting, no needing someone I looked to fill that need. So selfish; now, I endure, searching for my path. On it alone will be the truth I need. Looking to start, I stumble in such darkness.

judging

Who are you honestly? Standing there, judging me before you even think to judge yourself, But how can you? Do you dare to judge yourself so harsh? The pain you bring and life you live, how can you stand there so proud, Take a step back do you see what I see? A lonely soul lost in this world, crying out for help so loud, but no one hears you.

standing there

I see you standing there.
You still don't care
Well it's late and I'm tired,
All these hollow words and this shallow life I live
Just passing by like the moon in the sky
For a night I am strong, but come day I fade,
Set in your heat is the winning battle plan,
I loved what I saw,
Foolishly I trusted I could show you the way,
But now I see,
There you stand and here I fall. You don't want to take a chance.
Against them I fight, they try and take me down, but I've already fallen.
I will not leave, I may be down but I'm not out
Two separate roads we take, they cross but only for a while
I should of known it could not last, nothing good ever will
I've fought for so long, alone I stand and for what?
Trying to cling to something real I fall short of the world.
This lonely spot on which I slowly die, won't shed a tear when I'm gone.

Hey

So I decided to make a blog so I could actually show some of the things that I write.
I'm probably not gonna talk much about my life.

walk with me

Walk with me will you?
Its not that far I swear.
How are you where have you been, it feels like I don't know you
Not anymore at least
It’s been too long and I truly hate it
What ever happened to us really? Were we ever even true?
The promises we made those lies that you spun me
Oh no they were truth?
That’s all well and good; I've only one question now
Will you stay with me? Darkness as our cover, until that piercing sun shines through our shallow masquerade then its fine where you go. No request beyond this night
After we've danced and we've talked
If its lies that let you sleep then lie
Tell yourself it was fake, I never really loved you
If that’s what you want to hear. But I would rather die
I'm leaving in the morning
In the morning goodbye
If you'd rather lie in peace than cry in truth then, lie

pennies

I’m in love with the sound of this world
And scared by the piercing tone of my life as it falls apart
Like a penny on the track I am flattened by this world
Placed oh, oh, ohhhh, so carefully on that hard metal rail, don’t fall off, oh no not until your life hits you back
Back into that hollow shell you call a mind
And then through the dark you see a light
As it comes closer you see it dim
And all around the world starts to fade
But does it really?
Oh no, you’re not alone. No we’re not alone,
Here we are coloring this bleak world bronze,
Flattened out for the world to see
Like pennies on the track
And that light that came so slow? Just a trick
Our minds try to fix us
But our hearts just won't let them
Picked up and put away
They say they like the way we shine
But how can we shine when they smother us so?
Did we have to go through that, just so they would like us?
What about how we were?
What was so wrong w/ us then?
So young,
Pennies in their pockets, to be used and sold
Now what? We’re worthless filled with all that they say we need
But it doesn’t really matter
Nothing really does,
So what if they like us now?
It won’t last,
They throw us in a pile and that’s were we’ll stay
Until another day, but lets just stay,
Who says we want to go?
I like us now lets just stay
Like we’re, pennies on a track
The train coming fast
This time we can choose
Tumble off oh so gently onto the ground
It may be damp, but at least we chose it, at least we have each other
Lets stay how we are
Screw them and their plans
We could do what we want if only we were something more,
Than pennies on the tracks.