Charcoal Hearted

I will never follow a heart so black as yours again. Like charcoal from the hearth.
I endured here so strong, so tough and for what? To be struck down by those for whom I care?
I trust in my heart to show me the way, make sense of those realities that vex me so. It leads me astray; down roads I cannot take, not any more. It has ruined me.
Like a once strong, flourishing oak, stricken down by the words of those who claim to protect. Processed by strangers and spit back out deemed “unfit”.
And then hope, like a tree stripped of leaves in the dead of winter I was bare. You came so peacefully, like spring, and offered me your sincerity. Took me home, again came the lies of love.
I sat forsaken awaiting what came next, a bundle of wood already stacked, missing only a match to burn me out of existence; and down you came, I burned almost too quickly, my agony fuelled the inferno.
From the beginning you planned my demise. From within your charcoal hearted body came my death.

Hear me

Hear me now, I’m sick of it, the lies and false hope. There is no end to this. There is no answer, none that I can see. So I suggest you stop looking and live.

Currents

Let it cleanse me.
Washing over me slower each time the water ebbs around me.
Currents rush forcefully underneath this mirrored surface.
As they flow around me,
through me,
I wonder what right I have to stay.
As it pushes persistently against me I wonder.

The Fool I am

Why do I so insist on making fool out of myself? Trying harder and harder each time. I say you’re not worth it. I’ll never understand what it is about you that attracts me so, I want you to care but again and again you prove ever so greatly how little you do. Is it your eyes, your nose, lips face hair or curves that mesmerize me so.
You make me feel so dumb, I don’t get why. I know the facts and I know what is. Yet every time I see you my words escape me and I hope just maybe this time you’ll stop.
But no you walk on past as I stand in place, you’ll never see me. No matter how great a fool I make of myself.

breakdown

It’s a breakdown of my poor body under this crushing soul. I can’t take this anymore. You lend your fake sincerity only so when I fall down and die you won’t feel so guilty. Keep your act to yourself and when they all say what a tragedy, lie. Lie to them and say how much you cared, how you tried to help me. Explain how I was too far-gone to be helped.

spining

You spin round and round,
to the tune of my sweet sound.
these words I whisper into the night,
tell our story so well,
They wrap around you until the morning,
You on the wisps of my whims.
The song rings out across the sky,
and there you go,

white lies

Why does it have to end?
Nothing is ever real, so what’s the good in letting me know?
Can’t we just sit back and pretend?
No, I see now you want to see me fall and end this show.
You want me to feel the pain,
Should I crumble now or wait till you’re safely far away?
Every thing you said was in vain.
You say you went astray,
Well it’s to late for shallow apologies.
Everything we said, all those tries
Your face lets me know the pain I caused with these,
These white lies.